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Story #1: More than we bargained for

Catherine showed Andrew the pregnancy test. There was a glow in her cheeks that showed only a fraction of the joy that was coursing through her. After being together for ten years, countless doctors appointments, various medications, and still being disappointed every month, Catherine and Andrew had finally decided to try IVF. The doctor had explained the process in a friendly but serious manner, going over the success rates.

“We will transfer three embryos into your uterus,” he had explained. “That way we improve the likelihood that at least one will implant itself there.” Catherine nodded, determined. She wanted a child.

The joy Andrew felt was only surpassed by his relief. Relief that it had succeeded. Catherine’s joy was all encompassing. Even that first day she began to speak to her child, despite knowing that the child couldn’t hear yet. This child was going to complete their family, going to complete her life. Nothing could lessen her joy.

The unabated joy, however, was sidelined by shock as Catherine lay on the table staring at the ultrasound screen. As she looked at her child, a mixture of emotions that she couldn’t even begin to describe took hold of heart. It was not just her child that she saw, it was her children. Three children to be precise. Every single one of the embryos had successfully implanted in her uterus. She looked over at Andrew, but he just stared at the screen.

When the doctor began to talk to them the shock had still not worn off. Catherine had wanted a child, but triplets? How could she possibly manage that?

“Each of the fetuses is healthy,” the doctor explained. “Of course, a multi-fetal pregnancy always comes with risks, for both you and the fetuses.” He gestured at Catherine. “We should discuss your options.”

“Options?” asked Andrew.

“Yes. We can, of course, reduce the pregnancy.”

“Reduce the pregnancy?” Andrew asked, uncomprehending.

“Yes, terminate one or two of the fetuses. You can also choose not to do so, in which case we will have to discuss how to monitor the pregnancy. With triplets come an increased risk of serious complications, including preterm labour and premature birth, which can have lasting consequences for the children.”

Andrew suddenly understood what was being implied and he looked at Catherine. “Reducing the pregnancy makes sense to me,” he said. “We aren’t ready for three anyway. It might make sense to keep two – who knows if we will ever get pregnant again, but three is just too much. Don’t you agree?”

Catherine didn’t respond right away. Shock still gripped her. She looked down at her stomach – not that there was anything to see there yet. But there would be soon. Triplets. Three babies. Inside her. And then she would have to give birth to them. And then she would have to care for them for the rest of her life. Fear was slowly replacing the shock.

“If we just reduce the pregnancy,” Andrew was saying, repeating the phrase he had only just learned. “We could see if we can have a boy and a girl. A perfect little family of four.”

Twins I can do, she thought. “Yeah, a boy and a girl would be perfect. What a gift that we can get two children instead of the one we were hoping for. That would be perfect.”

Andrew and Catherine went home to sleep on it, and decided to find out the sex of the babies she carried. Two girls and one boy. They talked, they cried, and then they agreed – a boy and a girl would be perfect. When they returned to the doctor, they were sure.

“Let’s reduce the pregnancy.”

And a girl lost her life because she was a girl.

Story #2: Plenty of girls

Janine was putting together the finishing touches on her middle daughter’s costume. Just that morning, Annaliese had announced that she wanted to go trick-or-treating as an octopus. Despite searching every costume and thrift store in their small town, there was no octopus costume to be found. The look of disappointment on Annaliese’s face grew as they went to store after store, finding a princess dress for Sarah and a Batgirl outfit for Ellie. “What about a turtle?” Janine had asked her 6-year-old. Annaliese hadn’t said anything, but tears filled her eyes. Janine was not one to spoil her three girls, but her hearts strings were pulled. She loved her daughters dearly and wanted them to see the world for all the possibilities it had for women.

“Maybe we can be resourceful.” Janine said. “Let’s see if we can figure out how to make an octopus costume.” Annaliese was enthralled and they spent the rest of the day looking up patterns and finding the material they needed. Janine was proud of her daughter. She had worked hard and carefully all day. All that was left for Janine to do after her daughters were in bed was the finishing touches.

As she looked with satisfaction at the 8-legged costume, she heard the front door open as her husband Spencer arrived home from work. He was up for a promotion that kept him at the office longer these days. The costume was laid aside as another more serious topic took over her mind. Janine was unsure whether the wave of nausea she felt was the morning sickness or the dread of the conversation she intended to have.

Spencer was pulling food out of the fridge when she walked into the kitchen. She sat at the island as he turned to her.

“I found out today that it’s a girl,” Janine said. Spencer didn’t react right away, but Janine knew he must be feeling disappointment. He loved his daughters, she knew, but he had wanted a son. He had wanted someone to play catch with, to take fishing, and to carry on his name. Spencer would never have voiced this, but Janine knew. She knew, because she had wanted that to.

“So, a family of four girls,” he finally said.

“Well,” Janine said. “I was thinking about it. This isn’t a great time to have another child anyway. With you up for the promotion and working so much, maybe it would work better to wait. Three children is already a lot – wouldn’t it be better if we are going to have a fourth that we try again for a boy?”

Spencer pondered this for a moment. “It’s not too late?” he asked.

“I can still have it done at the clinic,” she responded. “And we haven’t told the girls yet so there won’t be any questions from them. The only people who know are our parents and we can just say it was miscarriage.”

Spencer nodded. “Ok. And when the timing’s better, we can try again for a boy.”

And a girl lost her life because she was a girl.

The stories themselves do not always overtly show the misogyny in sex selection – the stories are not all filled with women-hating men coercing their wives into abortions every time they’re pregnant with a girl. Yet, in a country that claims to to value equality of the sexes, evidence has been found that a cultural valuing of males in some communities means girls are overwhelmingly targeted for abortion, especially if the family already has girls. Countries like China and India are dealing with this problem on wide-spread scale, but this is also a Canadian problem.

New assisted reproductive technologies have also made multiple pregnancies more likely, and those who practice these types of medicine look for ways to build a designer family and reduce potential risk. Sadly, “risk” in these case is too often a pre-born child.

If we say that equality of the sexes is important to us as Canadians, we need to back that up with laws that recognize their equal value from the earliest stages. Life is meant to be lived, not controlled. When we focus on designing our families to perfection, we will target those who do not fit our mold, be it based on sex, potential disability, or anything else. If we allow this kind of selection in the womb, that kind of thinking will impact our treatment of born human beings as well. We need a law that bans sex selection abortion, and everything it stands for.

This law against sex-selection recognizes a potential abuse of reproductive technology, and addresses potential inequalities by eliminating the risk of sex-targeted fertility treatments. However, should IVF be successful and a pregnancy result, there is no law against aborting that same pre-born child based on its sex. When pregnancy with multiples – twins or triplets – results, it is not uncommon to decide to “reduce the pregnancy” by aborting the child or children of the undesired sex. This dichotomy sends a mixed message on whether life really is valued equally, whether male or female.

Dr. Albert Yuzpe, co-founder of the Genesis Fertility Centre in Vancouver, says the demand for sex-selection during IVF is ongoing in Canada. American websites regularly advertise to Canadians, knowing they can provide options that are illegal in Canada. For example, Overlake Reproductive Health offers payment options for Canadians, has connections with clinics in British Columbia so some appointments can be done in Canada, and promotes their “family balancing” services. Canadian clinics are feeling the pressure, and some may be bowing to it in the interest of increasing business.

In the U.S., where sex selection in IVF is legal, one doctor says that 85% of his patients come to him so they can choose the sex of their baby. This is not IVF as a means of getting pregnant when other means have failed – this is IVF as a means of attempting to control life.

The Assisted Human Reproduction Act of Canada bans sex selection of implanted embryos.  The UK and Australia have similar laws. These laws show a basic understanding that we should not determine who gets to live based on their sex. But our lack of abortion law contributes to and confuses the issue, especially when we see that girls are aborted at a much higher rate than boys in some parts of Canada.

We can’t stop prospective parents from traveling to the U.S. and elsewhere for sex selection.  But we can and should use law and public dialogue to promote the notion that in this country, both sexes are equally valuable. This includes the need for a law banning sex selective abortion.

They did, however, leave one important stone unturned: sex-selective abortion. Polls indicate that about 92% of Canadians are opposed to sex-selective abortion. Yet we know it happens in Canada, and it is clearly gender-based violence to decide whether or not someone should live based on your valuation of their sex. It was great to see MP Rachael Harder question Status of Women Minister Maryam Monsef on this omission.

Monsef was disappointingly quick to sidestep the issue and focus on the party line of “choice” as crucial for women. Sex-selection, though, is not a choice most Canadians agree with. Sure, we may all secretly hope one way or another for a certain sex to add to our family. Choosing to end the life of a child that doesn’t fit that hope, however, is an entirely different thing. All life is precious, and needing to design our family to the point of being willing to kill our offspring to achieve the perfect family photo is a symptom of some deeper control issues.

Sex-selective abortion is not only a form of gender-based violence, it’s also an easy one to do something about. Not many government changes can be completely effective in two little steps: end late-term abortions and do not reveal the sex of pre-born babies until abortion is off the table. Want to paint the room pink or stock up on blue crib sheets? You still can, and your baby will get to see them.

When discussing gender-based violence, we should start at the very beginning. We have incredible ultrasound technology that lets us know all kinds of things about the little people growing in their mother’s wombs. One thing we know is their sex. Let’s not use it against them.

In Canada, women have it pretty good compared to many other places around the world. Women’s choices are generally protected and their active participation in society is encouraged and welcomed.  While not discounting ongoing issues such as trafficking, wage disparity and sexism in the workplace (this social experiment by Coquitlam, BC’s mayor does bear mentioning), in some cases women actually have more options than men. For example, women are able to become pregnant and bring new life into the world, and while a man may need to be involved, he can never be the one at the finish line.

Instead of recognizing the beauty and miracle of this biological reality, however, women and men alike have focused on another choice: abortion. International Women’s Day reminds us that women in Canada have come so far that they have the right to kill their dependent, pre-born children for any reason imaginable. This, some insist, is necessary to equality.

Read the full article to find out the irony of this claim on LifeNews.com.

One of the three main issues we’re tackling in this fall’s lifeTOUR is sex-selective abortion. It’s not an issue people like to talk about – killing babies because they’re a girl instead of a boy, or vice versa. Official birth rates have long shown this happening in countries such as China and India, but the numbers in Canada no longer add up either (1). A 2012 investigation by the CBC (2) called it “unnatural selection”, and that’s exactly what it is.

 So far the discussion has mostly focused on the preference in certain ethnic groups for boys, as they slowly increase in the number of live births, while girls slowly decrease. This is, however, only part of the truth, and only the beginning of what is sure to be a growing problem in Canada if unfettered access to abortion continues. 

As Ms. Hatten explains, “Laws against sex-selection abortion are not tantamount to picking a reason for abortion at random and declaring it unacceptable. All abortions are heinous, yes. But sex-selection abortion in particular is often linked to forced abortion, coercion, and violence against the woman in question.”

Sex-selective abortion is not unique to China and India. It has become a global problem that Canada also needs to take action against. We know where the Liberals and NDP stand on addressing this discriminatory practice – they do not really care about it – but the Conservatives have taken a solid position against gendercide. At their most recent convention they voted overwhelmingly in favour of condemning sex-selective discrimination.

It is time for us to begin pressuring the Canadian government to make sex-selective abortion illegal in our country as well. Please do your part and send this email to your MP today!

Action Item: Send this email to your Member of Parliament asking for something to be done to end this practice from occuring in Canada.

The Conservative Party of Canada will be discussing sex-selection discrimination and they need to know we support them!

For more details contact: Rosey Rosenke at director@albertaprolife.com or Mike Schouten at mike@test.weneedalaw.ca