Pregnancy is a unique time of vulnerability in a woman’s life. An increasing number of studies show that we need to be doing more as a society to protect pregnant women. According to a study done by K. DeVries and colleagues, intimate partner violence is as common during pregnancy as risk factors such as gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, which are routinely screened for and monitored for the protection of both mother and baby. 

With awareness around intimate partner violence and pregnancy, there comes an increased focus on screening women for abuse at prenatal checkups. In one study, up to 22% of pregnant women seeking abortion reported recent violence from an intimate partner.  In another study, where nearly 40% self-reported abuse,  “relationship issues” was the only reason for choosing abortion that was cited significantly more frequently by women reporting abuse than those not reporting abuse. This is a clear indication that a violent relationship has a negative impact on a woman’s confidence in her ability to carry and raise a child.

The World Health Organization suggests that targeting intimate partner violence could reduce abortion by up to 40% in some areas. Why would there be such a strong connection between abortion and intimate partner violence? Research suggests that there are various possibilities, such as fear of the reaction to announcing the pregnancy, unwillingness to become permanently tied to the partner through bearing his child, or fear of bringing a child into an abusive situation.

All of these reasons are based on fear, a fear that abortion does not simply eliminate. We recognize the very real, and concerning, circumstances facing some women dealing with unexpected pregnancy. Statistics suggest that 1 in 4 women will face violence from an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Is it mere coincidence, then, that 1 in 4 pregnancies also ends in abortion? Both numbers are statistics that simply should not exist. NO woman should face violence from an intimate partner. NO pregnancy needs to end in elective abortion. In both cases, there are better answers.

The problem is, the answers aren’t easy;  turning a blind eye to intimate partner violence as a personal matter that’s “none of our business” is easy. Rather than helping women, abortion allows abusers to carry on without consequences, in this relationship or the next. Women are left feeling that killing their own children is the best way to survive, both in their personal lives and in broader society. 

Intimate partner violence is a very real problem in Canada, but abortion is not a solution. Abortion is always a bandage on a wound that requires major surgery. Pregnant women should be screened for intimate partner violence as part of standard prenatal routine, and steps should be in place to support her in such a way that “relationship troubles”, and the fear that accompanies that, are never the reasons she needs to give for choosing abortion.

The legal action by Abortion Access Now, and the frenzied support of Ms. Dwivedi, shows that some Canadians are completely out of touch with the majority who understand and accept that, even with a top-notch health care system, not every single medical procedure will be available in every single area of the country.

Here is why I was quite properly annoyed by this outlandish demand. Three days into our annual winter vacation, my husband and I were sitting in an emergency room of a remote hospital in northern British Columbia waiting for a nurse to call a doctor out of bed to come look at our son. He was lying on a gurney, writhing in pain, while we waited anxiously for medical help.

After a series of tests, it was determined that he had a ruptured appendix and the infectious contents had abscessed in his lower abdomen. The doctor informed us that he required immediate surgery and, because there was no surgical team nearby, they had to fly him 684 kilometers to BC Children’s Hospital in Vancouver.

As we waited to be flown to Vancouver for life-saving treatment, the air ambulance was delayed because a patient with a head injury from Kamloops also required emergency evacuation, as they didn’t have a neurosurgeon available in that city. In two small British Columbia cities, holidays were cut short by medical emergencies requiring significant travel for necessary treatment. We waited our turn.

When I eventually arrived home from the hospital and found out that this group of PEI activists felt they were entitled to expanded access to abortion I was rightfully upset. In fact, I am tired of abortion advocates demanding all Canadians support their fabricated right to an abortion. The Morgentaler decision, which Ms. Dwivedi refers to throughout her diatribe, did not give women a right to abortion. The reality is that the Supreme Court judges recommended that Parliament take steps to protect the rights of pre-born children at some stage of pregnancy. That was twenty-eight years ago. It’s about time we did something about it.  

There is no consensus among physicians’ groups that abortion is medically necessary. Yet, every Canadian province funds it, including PEI ­(the service is just not available on the island itself). In the face of truly necessary medical services, feminists have nothing to complain about. To quote Sarah MacDonald, provincial pro-life coordinator in PEI, “There is a great need in our province for medically necessary services, such as trauma care, cancer treatment, surgical care and more. Why aren’t these activists suing the government to increase access to these services?”

Our family’s vacation was cut short by a medical emergency requiring an unscheduled flight in an air ambulance to a distant hospital for immediate medical attention. We are not bitter, and we certainly aren’t demanding that surgical teams be established throughout northern B.C. for our convenience. Universal health care is a pillar of Canadian society and we are thankful to live in a country that takes the health of its citizens seriously.

The majority of Canadians understand and accept that, for our top-notch health system to work for everyone, not every single medical procedure can be available in every single area of the country.

By Jennifer Schouten, a proud mom and Canadian who doesn’t need the government to provide everything for her.

Talking about abortion is really tough with people who don’t agree with us. Our hackles rise, our stomaches churn, and a part of us just wants to lead with, “How can you possibly be ok with killing another human being simply because it’s unwanted?” We can walk away from these conversations fuming, upset, feeling justified in our anger and despair, wondering how our words failed to get through.

We too often fail to take just a moment to stand in the other person’s shoes and realize they are feeling exactly the same way about us.

So how can we move past simple agreement or heated argument, and move into serious, passionate debate where minds may actually be changed?

Realize first that you enter the discussion with a goal to change a mind, not the intention of truly listening, assessing the information, and possibly changing your mind. You know you are in the right on this one. And the person you are talking to goes into the conversation with the same mindset. 

If you recognize at the outset that you are unlikely to change their mind in one conversation, you can calmly present your case, then let it be. Let them walk away with the memory of what you said, not the memory of how you acted. Imagine them blogging about your conversation, or how it would play out on YouTube. Don’t give them the benefit of harsh, unkind words and a raised voice. Leave the door open to further conversation, should they ever want to follow-up with you.

Be bold, uncompromising, and clear, yes. But do not be hateful, accusing, or one-sided. Hear their arguments, truly listen to what they are saying. Answer specifically; really respond rather than just reacting. Be willing to participate in a real conversation, with the goal of having a lasting impact after the interaction is long done.

In her piece On Changing Minds, ProWomanProLife co-founder Andrea Mrozek says, “We all need time to make good decisions. We all, I think, go back and forth with our decisions. Unplanned pregnancy does not allow for this. You can go back and forth, back and forth, but if you choose abortion, it is final and there is absolutely no undo button. If you choose life, can you decide not to parent? Absolutely. But if you choose abortion, you don’t ever get to reconsider.”

Neither pro-choice or pro-life adherents do a pregnant woman any favours by pressuring her to make a decision without giving her time and space. Similarly, we do ourselves no favours in the abortion debate by hoping each conversation we have about abortion will result in a changed mind and heart. It’s going to take time, but, as Elvis Presley said, “Truth is like the sun. You can can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t going away.”